Rant: Scientists with nothing better to do
By Stevie HarrisonNot content with discovering penicillin and theorising the creation of the universe, scientists are always pushing the boundaries of human endeavors.
Without them we would have no idea that parents of young babies get less sleep or that eating unhealthy makes you more likely to be obese.
In what can only be seen as a desperate cry for help researchers from the University of California have taken time out from looking for a cure for cancer and developing environment saving reduced carbon cars researcher - to drop geckos.
The details will undoubtedly cause the animal rights movement to flock together in protest, our brave boffins spent their day, and no doubt a healthy research budget, dropping these poor little lizards down a tunnel and watching how they flick their tails to land successfully.
Being scientists they also found a collection of geckos without tails, probably by coincidence next to the surgical blade in the corner of the lab, and noticed these creatures didn’t have the same ability. It didn’t occur to these geniuses that maybe this was actually just these poor depressed tailless gecko’s were perfectly happy to keep falling, hoping the landing would take them out of this freakish deformed reality.
Sometimes you can’t help but feel that some scientists are just trying to satisfy those sadistic childhood urges. They are after all, is the kid in the class that spent playtime engrossed in textbooks finding out how he world works, rather than actually going into it and finding out.
While the other children catch spiders and decide to count the legs by plucking them off one by one, it was that nerdy kid in the library who was obsessively examining peer reviewed essays on the physical structure of arachnids that went on to become the scientists of this world.
It is probably because of this sense of missing out that they finally gave in to that inner child, picking up a small defenseless creature, dropping it and finally observing what most seven-year-olds already knew, that little animals always land safely on their feet and scuttle away from their tormentor as quickly as possible.
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