TV Week: Eurovision, The Apprentice and Moonlight
By Dan OwenEUROVISION SONG CONTEST (BBC1, SAT 8PM) The granddaddy of X Factor and American Idol, minus the singing talent? The chances of it unearthing a new Abba are low, but Eurovision has never been about trying to make superstars. In the UK, we just enter failures nowadays -- like X Factor runner-up Andy Abraham.
But even former bin man Andy, who earned praise from Simon Cowell on national TV, didn't stand a chance. Success all boils down to a nation's cultural popularity, political standing and neighbouring alliances. That'll be nil point for us, then...
Terry Wogan's commentary returned to cast a shadow over everything. I used to love his tongue-in-cheek wit about the competition, but the joke's wearing very thin. To be honest, you could broadcast a repeat of last year's competition and not many people would even notice. Unfunny hosts with zero sexual chemistry? Oui. An audience of over-enthusiastic flag-wavers with painted faces? Sí. Balkan and Baltic countries voting for each other? Ja. Sycophantic spokesmen sat in front of a greenscreen, trying to extend their 15 seconds of fame? Yep!
But everyone (secretly) really wants to win it. When Katrina & The Waves came first for the UK in 1997, it was camp payback for losing Euro '96. Eurovision plays to a general xenophobia in sofa judges, a bit like international football. What's more, as the land that birthed The Beatles and many other musical legends, we like to think our tastes are superior and British talent should naturally prevail. So it's always infuriating when our chances are dashed by sneering contempt from continentals and matters of geography. The whole thing is trivial, intentionally bad, and not worth taking seriously. Well, unless we win. Which we didn't. We ended up joint-last with 14 points. Those bins need emptying, Mr Abraham.
THE APPRENTICE (BBC1, WED 9PM) In an escape Harry Houdini would gawp at, slimy Michael once again avoided seeing Sir Alan Sugar's firing finger jab his way. Instead, suave Raef was the surprise dismissal in an episode crammed with shocks; not least, how Renaissance's arty ad for tissues failed to beat Alpha's naff promo for their radioactive vomit box of Atishu's. While amateur thesps Raef and Michael took inspiration from Fellini (and forgot about showing the actual product), Alpha pretty-boy Alex cobbled together something even Cillit Bang would snigger at. The worst-produced advert won, simply because it at least remembered to promote a product.
MOONLIGHT (LIVINGTV, TUE 10PM) This supernatural romantic drama, about vampire private eye Mick St. John (Alex O'Loughlin) and human reporter Beth Turner (Sophia Myles), is approaching its end – axed in the States after 16 episodes. While derivative and inconsistent, it provided solid entertainment and slowly improved throughout its run. Myles and O'Loughlin are appealing and sexy leads, and the stories generally engaging. Its Beauty & The Beast vibe also means blokes can watch it with their girlfriends, or wives – because every slushy moment set to a love ballad is evened out by fangs biting down on a jugular.
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Dan Owen is a self confessed TV "obsessive" and passionate film buff. Check out his blog at danowen.blogspot.com
But everyone (secretly) really wants to win it. When Katrina & The Waves came first for the UK in 1997, it was camp payback for losing Euro '96. Eurovision plays to a general xenophobia in sofa judges, a bit like international football. What's more, as the land that birthed The Beatles and many other musical legends, we like to think our tastes are superior and British talent should naturally prevail. So it's always infuriating when our chances are dashed by sneering contempt from continentals and matters of geography. The whole thing is trivial, intentionally bad, and not worth taking seriously. Well, unless we win. Which we didn't. We ended up joint-last with 14 points. Those bins need emptying, Mr Abraham.
THE APPRENTICE (BBC1, WED 9PM) In an escape Harry Houdini would gawp at, slimy Michael once again avoided seeing Sir Alan Sugar's firing finger jab his way. Instead, suave Raef was the surprise dismissal in an episode crammed with shocks; not least, how Renaissance's arty ad for tissues failed to beat Alpha's naff promo for their radioactive vomit box of Atishu's. While amateur thesps Raef and Michael took inspiration from Fellini (and forgot about showing the actual product), Alpha pretty-boy Alex cobbled together something even Cillit Bang would snigger at. The worst-produced advert won, simply because it at least remembered to promote a product.
MOONLIGHT (LIVINGTV, TUE 10PM) This supernatural romantic drama, about vampire private eye Mick St. John (Alex O'Loughlin) and human reporter Beth Turner (Sophia Myles), is approaching its end – axed in the States after 16 episodes. While derivative and inconsistent, it provided solid entertainment and slowly improved throughout its run. Myles and O'Loughlin are appealing and sexy leads, and the stories generally engaging. Its Beauty & The Beast vibe also means blokes can watch it with their girlfriends, or wives – because every slushy moment set to a love ballad is evened out by fangs biting down on a jugular.
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Dan Owen is a self confessed TV "obsessive" and passionate film buff. Check out his blog at danowen.blogspot.com
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How has Michael not had the You're Fired yet? Who do you think will win it? Do you get preview tapes?
I suspect that Sir Alan used the "artistic trap" of the advertising task to get rid of Raef (hence why he made him leader, instead of Michael?) and will fire Michael for a sales-related task soon enough. I don't get preview tapes, sorry. I suspect that Claire will win now.
just seen the good Jewish boy get the boot. When will you add an apprentice update?
Yeah do an apprentice update the day after the show like the Guardian.
The TV Week column is weekly for Newslite. If you're interested in regular Apprentice reviews, head over to my blog through the link at the bottom. Week Ten's review just went up there. And leave a comment :) Thanks.
Just wanted to say it is well worth the click to visit Dan's site www.danowen.blogspot.com where there is far more TV chat than we could fit on this page.
This weeks Apprentice article is a must-read.
While you are there leave him a comment so he knows we sent you.